Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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