Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
