sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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