I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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