Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
