you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
