Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
