Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
