I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
