he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
