he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
