He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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