If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He felt like a one man threesome
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize