But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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