I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize