Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize