Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
