I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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