please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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