Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
