i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
