The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
