i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
