i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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