going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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