Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
