i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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