Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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