you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
