I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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