booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Randomize
