Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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