You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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