Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize