dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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