I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
