i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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