my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
