Are we in a gay sports bar?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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