I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
