She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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