her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
