i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
