Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
