You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Found the puke drawer
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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