there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Go christen that room with your naked body.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
