PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
