Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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