There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
