you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize