What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
