Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
