I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
