I accidentally burped into my bong.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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