Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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