guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
