Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
