remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
