I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You work out of a Hotel?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
