The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
