I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
